that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
