D3 body, D1 cock
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
