He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
tell me about the fingering
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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