My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
