let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
