i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
