What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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