He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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