He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
