Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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