Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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