Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
