If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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