After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
