Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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