you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I want to fling myself into the sun
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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