He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
