i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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