"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
