drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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