ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize