He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
