Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
