Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
