i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
