as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
