Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize