He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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