i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
