yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
