I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
