Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
