u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
