Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize