I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
