My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
