Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
