apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
