making cat noises will not fix the situation.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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