just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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