I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You can't special order awesome
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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