you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
