I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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