Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
