...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My feet surprised me
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