Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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