Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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