In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
