Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
