The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
