i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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