I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
