i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
