Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
