oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
