Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
