ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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