that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
