Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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