If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
