Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
