Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
