he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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